In light of the upcoming Homelessness and Hunger Week and Faith in Action Weekend, I'm posting these email excerpts from a discussion this past summer between Dave Kunes and I:

"Just finished "To Hell with Good Intentions." I guess I share
quite a few opinions w/him--main reasons I passed on the Peace
Corp match his arguments about the evangelism of American
values. I really, really reacted against some of his claims,
though--I absolute disagree that one should "stick to one's
own country" and it sounds like Illich would go further and
say stick to your own culture/class (would he say gender and
race, too?). Whose country? Whose class? Am I poor because I
was born homeless? Rich because my parents now make 125,000
dollars a year? These things are fluid and can be changed very
quickly. Best not to get too attached to my own identity,
perhaps?

I think Illich's opinion could be better balanced w/Dr. King's
argument against the white moderates in Letter from a
Birmingham jail. You familiar? He rails against those who
won't take a stand--the fence-sitting black sympathizers who
still empower white segregationists. He says they're more
damaging to the cause because they give an air of legitimacy
to the wrong thing. Volunteerism won't save the world, no. But
I still think we need solidarity and unity in resistance...and
I still think that witnessing a situation first hand is an
effective way to do that. But I guess it's one of the reasons
I'm fairly sure I'll stay in the States to do community
organizing...I agree w/Illich on that point. I'd do far more
damage trying to "lead" people from another culture--I need
them to teach me, not the other way around. Same thing w/the
poor, the marginalized, etc... I need to learn from them (and
others) what I can do to stop exploiting everyone w/my white,
educational, English, American privilege. Then, when I'm
talking to the white, middle class population that I do
"belong to," I'll have some authority to speak up and say,
this isn't right. "We" need to stop.

I think of my ex who speaks to men across the country about
sexual assault, trying to convince them that "Their strength
isn't for hurting." I think he has to do that work--he can't
really help women who're hurting unless they turn to him--and
few are going to seek him out for that, you know? But he can
talk to college men about violence, gender, his own bias, and
try to convince them that the work to end sexual aggression is
not just on the shoulders of the Eve Enslers and the
"feminazis." He can stand in solidarity w/women and do his
part--educated the men.

The inherent paternalism in volunteerism, though--it's
disturbing, no? That's why I tell some people that I'm going
to Palestine on a fact-finding mission--I don't know how I'd
really help these kids--or the people taking care of
them--other than to say, "I'm listening. What the hell is
going on over here? Is there anything you'd like to say to
people 'out there'?" And then do my best to fairly relay their
messages. Screw the voice for the voiceless, right? Let's just
be megaphones.

You know one problem with Illich's argument, though? He
doesn't address that many of the same things we do in
volunteering are only paternalistic because of our motives...
I'll give you an example. If a tornado tore through my
neighborhood tomorrow, and I started helping my neighbors pick
up the debris, search for survivors, rebuild, I would not be
'volunteering.' Change a few variables, and the whole scenario
changes. Volunteering in New Orleans didn't begin necessarily
as paternalism--everyone was in it together, and we still need
to be. Same with the inner cities. The US needs stronger
inner-cities and rural areas, we need more children educated,
we need less exploitative and environmentally damaging
industries. ALL of us. We need a new definition of "neighbor."
Why should the Rio Grande stop us from calling someone our
family, our neighbors? If I start placing permanent lines
between me and others because of culture, race, language,
nationality, etc...I don't see how we're ever going to get
over our problems with violence, competition and exclusion.

Illich is right to point out that the volunteer can and often
does more damage that s/he thinks possible. We need to be
very, very aware of this...but I'm not sure I would ever tell
someone not to volunteer. I would just say, don't stop there
and don't kid yourself. Ladeling soup at a soup kitchen is not
all you can do, and if it's all you do, you're probably making
the situation worse. So wise up. Try eating lunch at the
shelter for a while instead of serving it. Ask questions. Get
to know people. And for God's sake, don't pretend that
sleeping in a cardboard box as a fundraiser is the same as
being homeless. Call it what it is. A visual stunt meant to
provoke, to educate, not to simulate. Cause that's not
possible as long as your privileged. And forsaking privilege
may be a useful tactic, it may not be. Think long and hard
before you burn that pile of money and try to forget that
you're literate.

Perhaps we shouldn't get too caught up in refusing privilege.
If we can temporarily acquire power in a way that doesn't
destroy our souls, it might not be a bad thing. Remember the
thing about freeing the torturer as well as the tortured? Can
we do that without lawyers, politicians, protesters? Maybe we
need people on the inside, too. Maybe we need Howard Zinn as
much as we need Mother Theresa. Maybe. I might change my mind
on that one, though--maybe we wouldn't need Zinn if everyone
was Theresa. Yeah?"

Later email:

" One problem w/Illich, myself, and any other person that argues
that volunteerism is paternalism is that we have assumed that
to have no possessions or little worldly power is to be
inferior (that to have less is to be less) when I think we
both know that the opposite is more often true. Having
possessions can be just as stifling and debilitating as having
none. More so, probably. And until we can understand that
giving truly is better than receiving, and we can give as
freely as we receive (and receive with true humility), then
we're in a pickle, yeah? I forget this sometimes when I start
using words like "privilege" and forget about the blessing
that poverty can be. I've seen both sides. I'll say again--I
miss when my family had less money. We were closer to one
another.

Another thing. We need to think about giving and receiving
differently. I think often about the humility it takes to
receive help....and the humility it takes to give it. They
really are closer than we think. Illich touches on this--but I
don't think his tone helps us to understand that deeper
problem here. Often, when we say "help," we mean "you lack
something." And that's not always true---what if we turned the
idea a bit? What if we thought instead, "Hey brother? Can you
help me out? I've got too much--this $$$ a burden on me. I
need someone to help me carry it." Or "I'm bored. I need
something to do. Can you help me out? Got any uses for my time?"

Should we volunteer? Can we do it with pure motives? Of course
not. But I don't think we can accomplish something purer by
isolating ourselves--For me, I know that I've had to shift my
attitude and let go of the idea that I'm ever going to be some
kind of savior. I can't do that. When I go to a place like
tent city, I'm trying to meet people and make friends.
Seriously. I can't do anything else. That's why I'm so
hesitant to start handing out cash and doing favors. I don't
buy friends in any other situation that way. How can I expect
someone to view me as an equal if I automatically begin
pointing out our differences?

Let's be beggars who beg people to take our possessions, to
help us use our money, our time, our talents, to test our
convictions, etc... Not because someone else needs it--but
because we can't survive if we hoard it. Too much power, too
many possessions, too much security--don't these rob us of
things far more valuable?"

I don't necessarily stand behind everything I wrote in that post 100% today (my opinions are necessarily fluid--I change them as I receive new ideas, information, and criticisms), but I still think it's an opinion that needs to be heard. And I only wish I'd had the courage already to live with less. Help? Anyone?

I'll be posting soon on my thoughts on returning to the States--things have been herky jerky crazy since August--but I thank all of you who still check in periodically to listen to my babbles. My appreciation of YOU is sincere :).