I have five days left in Michigan before I take off for the summer. My first trip will be a familiar one: I'm heading with several friends to New Orleans to continue with the city's rebuilding. I've made several trips there over the past few years, and each one has been rewarding in its own way. The Big Easy is slowly recovering, but the entire effort will likely take 10 years. I'm excited for the trip (5 days?!) but am admittedly preoccupied with thoughts of this summer.

I've hardly begun to prepare for the trip. Although it is six weeks away, I only have these 5 days to basically put everything together, from buying supplies to planning what I will live off of for two and a half months. Currently, I know that I want to bring the following:

frisbee
toothbrush
guitar
bible
camera
underwear
pants
t-shirts
books

The problem? Currently, I have no pack, no clean clothes, no idea what books I'm going to want to read after visiting refugee camps in Nablus (I probably won't choose that month to start cracking War and Peace), and only a vague idea of what kind of non-offensive, lightweight, comfortable in 100+ degree heat (note to self--learn how to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius) jean and t-shirt combos will take me through 10 weeks on the road.

Oh yeah, and I'm hoping to keep it under 20 lbs (again, note to self: learn to converts pounds to kilos...stupid English measurements).

Truly, these packing distresses are just packing distractions. I'm more worried about when I get there. My more insecure moments go something like this:

"I hope they like me. I hope I like them. Why wouldn't I like them? Why wouldn't they like me? Because I'm a silly, uneducated, loud, awkward, somewhat-smelly American. I hope I know what to do. I hope I know how to act. I hope I don't think to much about how to act. I hope I can just relax and be myself. I hope I'm not myself. I hope I'm stretched by this. I hope I get to smoke a hookah. I hope I don't look stupid doing it. I'm going to look stupid doing it. I need to get over being afraid of looking stupid. I hope I can learn some Arabic. I hope no one makes me speak Arabic. I hope I laugh a lot. I hope I learn a lot. I hope I help people. I hope they help me."

And then it starts all over again.

Of course, I'm not always insecure. Actually, I'm usually just excited. I facebook stalked one of the organizers of the camp and looked at his photo albums. The university looks gorgeous (and somewhat like a hotel in Orlando, Florida):















At this point, though, I'm just trying to keep my expectations real. It will be different and scary and exciting and wonderful, I'm sure.

I just need to get packing.